Practical, consent-focused guide for a 22-year-old gay man and his boyfriend: 20 positions prioritized for comfort and intimacy, 5 foreplay activities to build connection, and 10 safe, non-graphic oral-stimulation approaches — plus communication, safety and comfort tips.
Before trying any new position or activity, agree on boundaries, use clear verbal or non-verbal signals (e.g., a safe word or hand squeeze), check for medical or mobility limits, and discuss STI prevention (regular testing, condoms, dental dams). Focus first on comfort — pillows, supports, lighting, and slow pacing help. Communicate continuously.
Both lie on your sides with the receiving partner in front. The partner behind can support weight on one arm. Pillows between knees or under hips adjust angle. Good for close contact, low impact, and intimacy.
One partner sits while the other sits on their lap facing them. Legs can be wrapped or rested on the chair. Easy to stay upright, maintain eye contact, and control depth/angle by shifting hips.
Both lie flat and face each other. Use a low pillow under the receiving partner's hips for angle adjustment. Good for closeness, kissing, and controlling movement intensity.
Place a firm pillow under the receiving partner’s hips while they lie on their back. The giving partner kneels or lies between the legs. Pillows reduce strain on lower back and change angle for comfort.
Receiving partner on hands and knees while the other kneels behind. To reduce strain, use a folded blanket, or have the receiving partner rest on forearms. Alternate with slow, shallow movements if needed.
Both lie on their sides back-to-back or facing opposite directions. This allows for gentler motion and is suitable when one partner needs limited movement or wants less direct eye contact.
One partner lies on the bed near the edge while the other stands or kneels on the floor. Supports like a chair or stool for the standing partner can help manage angles and height differences.
The receiving partner straddles the seated partner facing them or facing away. This position allows the straddling partner to control rhythm and depth and is comfortable for many body types.
Both stand facing each other; the standing receiving partner can place arms around shoulders for balance. Use this for quick, intimate moments; be careful with balance and stamina.
Lie on your back while the receiving partner brings one leg up and rests it on the other partner’s shoulder or chest. This alters the angle and can make access easier for some people. Use slowly and check comfort.
The receiving partner lies back with the torso elevated (supported by pillows). The other partner kneels or stands at the edge. This reduces lower-back pressure and helps breathing ease.
One sits on a chair while the other straddles facing away. This gives the seated partner stability; the other controls pace and comfort. Good if one partner needs more support.
Both sit cross-legged facing each other, leaning in to maintain contact. This is low-impact, great for extended intimacy and talking, and easy to stop or adjust.
One partner leans forward over a stable surface while the other stands behind. Use only sturdy furniture and slip-resistant footing; clear obstacles to avoid injuries.
Both lie on sides; the receiving partner lifts their upper leg to change alignment. Pillows can be used under the hips for comfort. Low strain and easy to pause.
Receiving partner sits on a surface with feet on the floor or a step; the other kneels or stands between legs. Keeping feet supported reduces strain.
One sits with back against the chair; the other partners' position can be adjusted to sit in the lap or kneel. Back support reduces fatigue for longer sessions.
Similar to spooning but with slightly different leg and hip angles; good for those who want closeness while minimizing face-to-face stimulation.
Use large cushions under knees and forearms to reduce pressure on joints. This makes kneeling positions more comfortable for longer durations.
Rather than a full wheelbarrow which can be strenuous, have the receiving partner support upper body on forearms while hips are slightly elevated and the other partner kneels behind—keep it shallow and supported with pillows.
Use a gentle massage with unscented oil or lotion to relax muscles and increase physical connection. Ask what pressure feels good and avoid sensitive areas unless mutually agreed.
Start slowly with kissing, stroking arms, chest, and back. Pausing and varying tempo increases intimacy and helps partners communicate preferences.
Warm water relaxes muscles and creates a cozy atmosphere. Share a towel, wash each other gently if comfortable, and use low lighting or music for mood.
With consent, explore the partner’s body using hands—light, exploratory touches help learn sensitive areas and establish boundaries in a relaxed way.
Talk about fantasies, likes, and limits. Using descriptive language or whispering what feels good can heighten emotional connection and reduce anxiety.
Below are neutral, educational approaches that emphasize consent, comfort, and variation without explicit, graphic instruction.
Coordinate hands and mouth so the hand supports or enhances the sensation while the mouth provides additional stimulation. This lets the partner control depth and pressure using the hand.
Use light, intermittent contact rather than continuous motion. Brief pauses and teasing touches increase anticipation and allow plenty of check-ins on comfort.
Apply gentle suction rhythmically as tolerated. Adjust firmness in response to feedback; avoid anything that causes pain or gagging.
Alternate between slow and faster tempos or change patterns occasionally. Small changes in rhythm can create different sensations without altering position.
Alternate attention between different areas (base, mid-shaft, tip) using hands and mouth. This helps personalize stimulation and find what each partner prefers.
Positions such as side-lying or seated (one partner sits while the other kneels or lies between legs) can be more comfortable for longer sessions and reduce neck strain.
Use water-based lubricant to reduce friction and increase comfort. Reapply as needed. Avoid oil-based products with latex condoms.
For STI risk reduction, consider using flavored or plain condoms during oral activity. Communicate preference and ensure proper use to preserve sensation and safety.
If the giving partner is uncomfortable using the mouth extensively, coordinated hand techniques alone can provide consistent stimulation while maintaining comfort and control.
Regularly pause to check in, make eye contact, and ask what feels good. This creates ongoing consent, reduces anxiety, and allows adjustments for comfort or intensity.
If you want, I can tailor these positions and approaches to specific body types, mobility limits, or comfort levels (e.g., back pain, knee issues, height differences), or provide a printable checklist for communication and safety.