Capitulary of the Swans upon the Moat of the Bishop’s Palace at Wells

Be it known, proclaimed, and inscribed in feather and reed, that we, the resident mute swans of the moat, by the grace of river and garden, do hereby ordain and publish these capitula for governance of bell, board, nest, and passage — in voice legal, in heart coquettish, and in cadence (I confess, aloud and then to myself) reminiscent of that strange human murmuring they call Ally McBeal.

Capitulum I — De Campana et Funiculo (Of the Bell and the Rope)

Whereas the Gatehouse is fitted with two bells and ropes descending, and whereas it was recorded (so the whispering grasses tell us) that a Bishop’s daughter did first teach the pulling thereof, we decree thus:

1. By the power vested in our necks and in the memory of those who taught us (thank you, whose name we will not forget even when I, Grace, wobble in self-doubt), any swan who pulls the rope shall be answered with food, provided always that the pull be honest, not vexed by malice nor by playful pestering of the market pigeons.
2. The manner of pulling shall be: one deliberate tug for single portion; two measured tugs if cygnet hunger is great; and three long tugs if the cob’s teaching is being observed by very young eyes (Gabriel insists on three — he likes ceremony; I, Grace, roll my eyes, though inwardly I am moved).
3. Let no human bell-ringer presume to interpret the tugs without consent of the feedkeeper stationed at the Gatehouse. If none be present, the rope shall remain free to the swan’s will, and mercy shall be shown in the form of swan pellets and approved vegetation.

Capitulum II — De Mensa et Cibis (Of the Table and the Fare: the Swan Menu)

Because we are both exacting and tender, and because it is meet to set forth a menu that befits a moat of ancient stones and modern fudge temptations, be it ordained:

1. Principal Items (Swan-Approved):
   • Aquatic Greens: pondweed, duckweed, and tender shoots gathered by gentle hand or willing tongue — standard ration for adults.
   • Swan Pellets: compacted joy in nutriment form — to be dispensed singly for solace and in handfuls for families.
   • Small Fish and Invertebrates: occasional, as the moat permits — for variety and for the cob whose soul remembers the wild marshes.
2. Interludes and Treats:
   • Occasional crumb of human sweet (fudge, it is whispered) — to be accepted with great dignity though we shall never admit in public that one of us once wandered toward the fudge shop (it was, regrettably, true; the sugar called).
3. Ordering Procedure: To claim a portion, the swan shall employ the bell (Capitulum I). Should two swans tug alike, precedence shall be given to the lighter clack of nails (or, failing such measure, to the elder swan who keeps the nest or to the parent of cygnets that day).

Capitulum III — De Nido et Pariendo (Of Nest and Procreation)

Let history be kept in reed and rock: nest-building commences in February or March; eggs are laid late March; incubation endures approximately forty days; and in the first week of May, cygnets commonly appear. Therefore:

1. All swans shall respect the sanctity of the nest. Approach only when invited; observe from the reed; do not shift the center of straw for sport.
2. The pen upon the nest shall be granted sole dominion of the eggs through incubation (this law is not open to debate except by the prodigal who thinks themselves wise — Gabriel files frequent but unsuccessful motions).
3. Upon hatching, the cob shall instruct the young in bell-pulling and moat manners until the season of leaving. The teaching shall be patient, ceremonious, and occasionally theatrical (we admit a fondness for drama; the village watches; we perform).

Capitulum IV — De Ambulatione per Forum et Venditionibus (Of Walking Through the Market and the Fudge Shop)

Remembering that our comings and goings have been of note (the day of the fudge — oh), we enact thus:

1. Swan processions through the market shall be conducted with dignity and, where possible, a companion who knows the route. No swan shall take more than a respectful peck at shop goods. If tempted, the guilty shall offer a bow and a feathered apology.
2. Human bystanders shall be encouraged (through subtle neck-arching and the occasional plaintive look) to respect space and to observe quietly; sudden clapping shall be met with hissing and a formal reprimand from the senior cob.

Capitulum V — De Memoria et Successione (Of Memory and Succession)

We record, with sorrow and reverence, the passage of Bryn and Wynn, whose names shall be kept in reed-script. Let their memory guide the care of cygnets and the stewardship of the moat.

1. Former swans who depart shall be honored with two low bows from the current pair at the next spring tide.
2. Succession to the nest and to the ceremonial bell duties is to be recorded in our collective memory and announced with three measured tugs (see Capitulum I). New arrivals (as Grace and Gabriel once were) shall be met with curiosity and, after a customary trial of patience, full acceptance.

Epilogue — The Cadence (Ally McBeal Voice, Slightly Legal)

And so we sign (not with ink but with the ruffle of feathers), in voice equal parts ancient law and absurd modernity. We are swans; we are solemn; we are dramatic. We like pellets. We remember the Bishop’s daughter who taught the first bell pull, and we smile — inwardly, usually, because outward smiles show teeth and that is gauche. When I (Grace) brood, Gabriel paces and taps the rope (he's dramatic; I said that already). The law stands: bell for food; nest for young; market for modest promenades; memory for those gone.

Let this capitulary be hung, not upon parchment, but in the minds of all who dwell by the moat: by human hand, by swan beak, by the steady pull of rope at the Gatehouse. So ordered, so feathered, so sworn — in the quiet cadence of ripple and wing.

Declared by Grace & Gabriel, Mute Swans and Custodians of Moat Etiquette, in the Year of Many Feeds and Few Storms.