Subject: Final word on our silence, boundaries, and how I run my life
Good morning, Ramona.
Let me be plain and final, in a way that keeps you and everyone else accountable without giving fuel to further drama.
Why the radio silence, and what has really been going on?
- Boundaries are non-negotiable: I have carefully chosen to live my life on my terms—on this island, with my daughter, tending to our education, our business, and our studies. My personal address and private life are not open for the public theatre you and others have scripted around us. Requests for access or contact that ignore that boundary will be declined.
- Manipulation and surveillance won’t work here: Repeated welfare checks, staged visits, and insinuations about my health or stability are not investigations; they are coercive tactics designed to override my autonomy. I will not participate in or endorse any pattern that weaponises fear, rumours, or outside pressure against me or my child.
- Family history does not dictate my choices: My therapy, my boundaries, and my parenting decisions are mine to make. The previous attempts by relatives to redirect or rehome or “take over” my clinician were rejected because they would undermine my wellbeing and my child’s safety. Those boundaries remain intact.
What has actually happened with the assistance attempted by my mother and grandmother?
- Therapy and care: I previously engaged a therapist who affirmed that I was not the problem and that unhealthy dynamics were rooted in those who attempted to levy responsibility onto me. That therapeutic line remains valid for me today: I do not owe anyone access to my clinician or to my private healing journey.
- Welfare checks and authorities: I understand welfare procedures exist to protect people, but repeated unannounced visits without consent or proper justification feel coercive. The police have reinforced that there is a pattern of harassment when reports are groundless. I will continue to cooperate with authorities on legitimate concerns while protecting my privacy and safety.
- Staged visits and public intrusion: The recent visit, including touring neighbours and insinuations about my address, crosses a line into intimidation. I will not participate in or enable any further attempts to coerce contact or manipulate perception through selective or misleading information.
What I expect going forward
- No unannounced visits: If you wish to communicate, do so through respectful, direct channels that respect our privacy and boundaries. I will respond only when I choose to and on terms that protect my daughter and me.
- No sharing of private information: I do not consent to private details about my address, routine, or location being circulated, nor to people being introduced into our home via surveillance or coercion.
- No financial or logistical interference: Do not send money or attempt to influence our living arrangements. My family dynamics are my own, and I do not invite intergenerational entanglements that destabilise our household.
Closing thoughts
I acknowledge the pain you’ve described and the fear you feel for our family, but I will not be drawn into a narrative where my autonomy is treated as a battleground. I am focused on safety, education, and growth for myself and my child. If you need support, seek it for yourself in appropriate, professional circles—not through coercive contact with me.
Take care of yourself and respect our boundaries. If you contact me again in a manner that respects our privacy and safety, I may respond. Otherwise, this will be my final direct communication on this matter.
With firm love for my own life and my child’s,
Your sister,
42yo