What is a queerplatonic relationship?
A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) is a close, non-romantic relationship with a high level of emotional intimacy and closeness that goes beyond a typical friendship, but does not involve romantic love or sexual attraction. The exact boundaries are defined by the people involved.
Key features
- Intense emotional connection without romance.
- Non-sexual or non-romantic boundaries, agreed by both people.
- Closeness that might include activities like cuddling or sharing a home, if all parties consent, but not required or expected.
- Flexible boundaries; what counts as QPR can vary from pair to pair.
- Often part of the broader queer community, but not every QPR is about sexual orientation.
How is it different from other relationships?
Compared to romantic relationships: romance and usually sexual/erotic interest are absent or minimized. Compared to typical friendships: QPRs often involve a deeper level of commitment, time, and emotional labor, though they are not defined by romance.
How to navigate a QPR
- Have a clear conversation about boundaries and expectations.
- Discuss topics like time spent together, intimacy boundaries, health and safety, and privacy.
- Do ongoing check-ins to adjust boundaries if needed.
- Respect each other's autonomy; consent is ongoing and can be renegotiated.
Is a QPR right for you?
If you feel you want a deep, emotionally intimate relationship that is not romantic or sexual, a QPR may be a fit. It’s okay to take time to figure out what you want and to redefine the relationship as needed. Not everyone uses or understands the term, and that’s fine—the most important thing is clear, mutual understanding.
Example
Two friends decide they want to live together, share some finances, and support each other emotionally, without pursuing romance. They set boundaries about physical affection and sexual activity, make space for each other’s needs, and regularly talk about what’s working and what isn’t.